First Friday of Second Year

Cast lists went up today! Aaah!

I’m cast in one of this semester’s shows! Aaah!

Also, apparently I’m designing and running sound for one of them! AAAAAAAAH!

Yeah, I’ve definitely never designed the sound for a show. I’ve never run a sound board. This is going to be either great fun or greatly stressful or some delicious combination of both.

But anyway, I’m involved! I don’t get to stay in my room and be antisocial! Yay!

Enough with the exclamation points. Let’s be serious and boring and monotone for awhile.

Who am I kidding?! Life isn’t boring or monotone, like, ever, and it’s very seldom all that serious.

Except in funerals.

I cry in funerals. Even if I don’t really know the person. Just saying.

That has nothing to do with anything.

Can you tell I’ve had caffeine?

And not enough sleep?

See, people around here bellyache all the time about how gross 8am classes are. Honestly, I can’t blame them. I mean, who wants to break off a snuggle session with her pillow to go listen to a professor talk about something that would make a whole lot more sense in about three hours? I certainly don’t.

And, so far in my college career, I have avoided having to schedule any 8am classes.

Go me!

So instead I brought a horse. Who is now my 8am. Seven days a week.

He also is really dead-set on getting as many burs in his mane and equinely possible (see what I did there?) and it is driving me insane! I mean, come on, dude! We both hate having to stand there so that I can pull about a bajillion burs out of your lovely, flowing mane (which has gorgeous sun highlights from this summer, I’m just saying) and so you could save us both a lot of trouble by just keeping your stupid head out of the pile I have made of all the weeds I’ve pulled so that they wouldn’t be in your way while you beg for the other horses to love you even though they recognize as clearly as I do that you’re an idiot!

Too bad I’m timid about speaking my mind, huh?

Anywho, semester (all one week of it) has been good so far, with the exception of being so tired that functioning is hard(er than it usually is for me). I am doing awesomely poorly in bowling, so it is almost certain that I will have improved by the end of semester, because I can’t really get any worse. My computer applications professor should keep that dullest of dull classes interesting. And my theatre professors are some of the awesomest individuals on the face of the planet. Just saying.

Microsoft Word says that “awesomest” isn’t a word. Well you know what, Word?! I don’t care!

So I finally downloaded a game that I’d seen before but didn’t have the opportunity to get for free at the time—I did get it for free today, by the way—and it definitely kept me amused for a good portion of the day.

It’s called…Goat Simulator.

And you literally run around a town as a goat, destroying things and licking things and terrorizing people.

There’s even a way to make dead goats rain from the sky. I kid you not.

Definitely a waste of time, but I suggest it if you find yourself with a bit of time to kill between classes or something.

I think that kind of wraps up what I have to say.

I’m writing tonight from a place of (big surprise) exhaustion and (equally shocking) sugar overload, so I’m not really feeling coherent enough to tell you anything life-altering that I’ve learned lately. I’m sure there’s something along those lines that could be said, but it’ll have to wait for another day.

In the meantime and in between time, though, have a wonderful evening/morning/day/afternoon/whatever-applies-to-you and I’ll talk at you again before too long, I’m quite sure.

Ciao!

– Melissa

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Vitality

I thought I was going to write a blog post tonight. Instead I pulled up Spotify to listen to a new-to-me band and then opened up the digital paint studio that came with my computer.

I don’t claim to be accomplished in the realm of painting on a touchscreen laptop. But this was simple. Sometimes life needs to be simple in its complexities.

Goodnight.
– Melissa

Destined for More

If the Christian life were all about satisfying the self, life would kind of suck.

Because, I mean, you get saved, and that’s great and all because you’re going to heaven instead of hell, right, but…then what?

If Christianity was all about being happy, earth isn’t the place for Christians.

I don’t know about you, but I long for my heavenly home where pain isn’t a thing and relationships thrive the way God intended them to and I don’t have to worry about how many calories that bar of dark chocolate has.

(Let’s be honest: I really don’t care about the calories all that much. I’m a total chocoholic and I have no shame.)

But seriously, life kinda sucks if it’s all about you being a happy Christian.

Your mentors, the ones who taught you about God and helped you attain salvation, they’re gonna die. Go to heaven and be away from you. And you’re going to be stuck here.

Here, where no matter how hard you try, you will never attain perfection. The day will never ever come where you’re, like, “Dude! I just overcame my last struggle! Now that I’ve attained not lying to anyone, I will never struggle with sin again! I get to sit back and relax and just chill!”

Just in case this is necessary for someone, news flash: You will always be struggling with something. Always. And if you somehow reach a point where you can honestly look at your life and be, like, “Hey, I’ve got it all together!” then you’re not being humble, and that’s a sin, too.

So yeah, you’re stuck in a world where loved ones die and where you’re going to keep messing up no matter how hard or how long you try.

And while you’re here, people are going to give you a hard time. Because you’re a “Christian” and they don’t get it. Or maybe they think they do, or maybe they feel threatened by the way the truth is outshining the lie they’re living, or maybe something else. Whatever the cause, people are going to mess with you and be rude to you simply because you call yourself a Christian.

If you’re lucky.

In some cases, people will take it beyond just rudeness and will actually cause you physical harm. Maybe they’ll even kill you.

So why?

Why live at all if Christianity is about being happy and going to heaven?

Thing is, it’s not.

Christianity isn’t about you being happy.

Christianity is about a God who loves not just you, but the world.

And the really sad part is that a great portion of the world doesn’t know that.

So here’s the deal: instead of it being all about you, it’s all about us. The collective whole that the gospel was written for.

You are loved. Unconditionally, unequivocally, and beyond everything you can imagine.

But so is your neighbor. So is your coworker. So is your boss who you can hardly stand and who some days you wish would step out in front of a passing horse-drawn carriage and break every bone in their body so that she’d have to spend months in a full-body cast.

Yeah. I’m serious.

God loves them, too.

And you know what?

He’s put you in their lives to tell them that.

And you know what else?

He’s put me in people’s lives to tell them that.

The truth?

I don’t really like people.

I’m not even kidding. As a whole, the human population tends to rather repulse me. I’m working on getting my heart in tune with God’s on this one, but it’s a struggle because people are just such (yeah, I’m gonna say it) idiots.

(I’m a person, too, by the way. I annoy me, too.)

If it were up to me, looking out for my own personal happiness, I would go live on an island with my horse and a smart phone and a wifi signal, and I would live out my days in solitude until I got to go to my true home in heaven.

But I don’t get to do that.

Because life isn’t about me.

It’s about doing the will of my Father, which is to tell others what was told me.

So I love you.

I love you as an individual, despite the fact that you’re a person and I sometimes get annoyed with you, because my God loved you enough to die for you. And that makes you pretty worthwhile indeed.

And so whatever I have to do, whatever I have to say, I am committed to telling you how worthwhile life is when you have a purpose bigger than yourself.

Because living to gratify yourself, living to ‘be happy’ inside or outside of Christ, is a pretty dreary, meaningless place to be.

And you were destined for something greater.

– Melissa

i burned the chocolate pudding today

Woo. Today.

Today was today and today was unique.

Of course, every day is.

If it weren’t, we’d be living in a never ending time loop where everything was the same and nothing was ever different and it was all horrendously boring.

I don’t like horrendously boring.

Actually, I don’t like horrendous and I don’t like boring, so when you combine them you end up with something I absolutely detest.

I also detest spiders and when my sister’s boyfriend encourages my sister to play with knives. But that’s beside the point.

Today: August 9, 2015.

It all began at 5:30am…

Okay, now this has turned into a detective narrative in my head and it’s super cheesy and I apologize even though I’m not going to make you live through that.

Have I mentioned that the only thing I have eaten in the past four hours is chocolate? I drank some water and ate a whole bunch of chocolate. Chocolate pudding, chocolate brownies, and chocolate MnMs.

Yay, chocolate!

Anyhow…this morning my sister headed out to begin her college adventure. The little punk turned down the opportunity to live with me in Abilene and is instead opting to live with my aunt about three hours away from my school. Weirdo.

I mean, my aunt is cool and all, but I’m…beyond cool.

So she and my mom headed out, and I cried even though I’ll see her in two weeks and (hopefully) fairly regularly after that. Did someone say road trip?!

And because it was about 6:30am when they headed out, afterwards I went back to bed and slept until I got up for church and then I went to church. I like church. I love the people and the worship (and the cookies) and the great, awesome, incredible, indescribable God who loves me despite the mess I am and empowers me to love people despite the messes they are.

People are so messy. And it drives me so crazy.

Like, I seriously cannot read through my facebook feed recently without freaking out about people’s atrocious grammar. I mean, come on! Your and You’re are two different words, and two, too, and to are three different words!

I’ve become obnoxious, even if it’s just within the confines of my own head. So I decided that it wasn’t worth the stress and took a hiatus from facebook, and it’s honestly been really nice. Weird, but nice.

Anyway, Abbie left and I miss her and that is all I have to say about those emotions.

So then I worked for my dad. For, like, four and a half hours. And since the house we’re renovating to sell is six weeks behind schedule, none of us have been the most patient with each other on the job site. So it was a kind of rough day. But hopefully showings will start tomorrow because that house is as near to done as it will ever be and HOO-RAH!

Working is not my favorite thing generally. Working on a belly-full of conflicted and confused emotions is most definitely NOT my favorite thing at all. (I know that was redundant, but it needed to be. Trust me.)

BUT…

Friends are my favorite.

The people who I love most dearliest (new word) and who I feel safest around.

So Grace and I picked a couple of them (who have both been horrendously busy this summer and who we’ve hardly gotten to see at all -_-) and we all watched Thor on my back porch because I have a projector.

(Everybody should have a projector. Life is so much more exciting that way. And movie nights can happen literally anywhere.)

In short, I am a hyper mess tonight, and I am here instead of bed because I don’t even know how to describe the amount of chocolate that I have ingested tonight.

I also burned an entire saucepan of chocolate pudding today because I got distracted and I forgot all about it. I may have ruined the saucepan.

But I know what a saucepan is now!

Yeah…I had to look that up, and I’m stating that now because eventually Grace will decide the world needs to know that and I’d rather you heard it from me. I have never claimed to be a cook. Just be grateful that I haven’t accidentally poisoned anyone yet.

That’s a much sunnier perspective to have, now isn’t it?

I have a lot to say tonight.

But I can’t make sense of it enough to tell you.

I’m a little bit scared for life to turn topsy-turvy on-its-head again when I move in a couple of weeks.

But God is bigger, and each day is just a new chance to take a step and say, “Okay. You’ve got this. Not me.”

My summer has been big. Big and different and exhausting and maybe I’ll write all about it here someday and maybe I won’t. I’m not sure.

Either way, God remains bigger.

It’s past midnight, so I should probably call it a night.

I think the chocolate might be wearing off anyway.

Wow. I’ve wrapped this post up well.

‘Way to pull off the stellar conclusion, Melissa. If this were a paper, you’d get an A.’

Ha.

If I wrote papers the way I wrote blog posts, I would never have gotten into HSU. I would never have graduate high school, for that matter.

Anyway.

Good night. (Even though it’s most likely morning as you’re reading this.)

Sleep tight. (Even though I don’t know what that even means, unless you’re a baby and you’ve been swaddled, in which case you don’t know how to read and so this post is completely lost on you and therefore irrelevant.)

And don’t bite the bed bugs, because that’s rude.

Bugs are people, too, you know.

(Actually, they’re not; I just say that because I’m tired and sassy.)

– Melissa
This is a picture of mayonnaise.